Forever and a Day

Don't pass out - I know it's been forever and a day since I've posted. I've tried several times over the last couple months but I thought I had been locked out as it wouldn't even let me comment on other blogs; but it turns out there's something wrong with my Firefox and my blogger (per Jenna) so she had me go through Outlook. So I'm back. I don't know how faithful I'll be but I'll try.

Life has been really different over the last year. Becoming a grandma is the next best thing than being a mother (some times even better because I don't have them all the time ~ tee hee ~ having said that, I really would love to have them more often than I do). Grandpa babysits Savannah twice a week and I leave those morning wishing I could change places with him. Watching Savannah and Noah grow up is one of life's greatest joys for me. I look back and really see how our children's lives change our life as they grow up. I have gone from having three daughers, whom I've always had a close relationship with and we did almost everything together as a family, even after they became adults, to adding two young men into our family through Levi and Dallas. Both very different from each other, but both of which I love very much. Then add in my granddaughter and grandson; they now have their own family. When they say they want to be with their family, that doesn't mean Jody and I any more. Many nights I've cried and prayed for these two young men and my girls and their little ones. I want to be there for my daughters but not be "meddling" in their lives. I have been blessed to have ALL my girls close. I knew one day that would change and that change is coming sooner than I had hoped (but I can't talk about that yet, I'm still coming to terms with my oldest daughter LEAVING ME and not her just leaving but taking my little grandson with her.) Once again, another change that I'm having to deal with. God will help me, I know but....maybe some day I can share the tearing of my heart over this, that I desperately cry out to God daily to help me prepare for.

I have so many things to share, and would like to, but too often the written word is taken wrong and I can't say all that's in my heart to do it justice any way.

Bottom line, one word sums up my life these last several months and that is CHANGE!!!! For the first time in over 36 years I am not the youth leader. I asked to step down as I felt like though my spirit is willing my flesh is weak. Though my heart still beats for the youth, my body won't let me do everything they like and need to do. Along with that, I want and need to be able to help out with the little ones so their mommy's and daddy's can be involved. Fortunately, I still have some of the youth through the ABM as I am a bandleader over 9 out of the 13 youth. I love our youth as if they're my own. Some days I wish I didn't as I hurt when I see them struggle. I don't think any of them even begin to know how much this pastor's wife prays for them and has even cried for them.

I definitely can't sum up all the missed months in one blog and I have no intention of even trying to do so. On a lighter note....I can't wait for winter to pass, I'm so ready to truly enjoy othe outdoors by BEING outdoors and not just looking at it. Oh to be able to take my grandbabies OUTSIDE for walks, and to the park. Soon, it'll be here soon (I'm trying to convice myself, sorry)!

For now I'll leave you some of my favorite pictures of my favorite babies.