Not Wanting to Disappoint Anyone

Please pray for me. There's a several things going on in my life that is heavily weighing me down. All of which affects someone else and I don't want to disappoint anyone. Most importantly I want to find God's direction and not disappoint Him. I just want to cry and feel like my heart is actually heavy in my chest over these things. Please, please help me pray.

Ash Falling In Anchorage

The volcano erupted again on 3:30 pm today and now the ash is falling on Anchorage. It is real heavy at the airport. Jessa is at work and she says they are trying to get people out of the airport. Jenna was coming from her apartment and said it was like a dust storm. I was coming from the grocery store and definitely saw it falling. Jenna will be posting pictures of how the ash looks like on the cars. There's a moose that has bedded itself down across the street form us. I hope he'll be ok.

Please do pray for us.

Anybody Have A Big Cork?

You know we've been involved in tornadoes, floods, blizzards, even around hurricane areas (did I miss any) and we know the drill. Well the drill for this volcano is getting old. Air is the main way of travel for Alaskans and it's expensive. We need Mt Redoubt to, as Jessa put it on her blog, put a cork in it. She said by June because of her wedding but I need it to by April 8th. That's just 10 days!!!! As I head out to England. And then be sure it's still corked the weekend of the 19th when I come back. There's a lot invested in this mission trip. I'm trusting the Lord, or I'm trying to any way. Brother Nowling has told me so many times "you're going".

You know there are so many people that have had their plans interrupted by Mt Redoubt (I just even don't like her name ~ do they call volcanoes hers or hims like they do hurricanes?) and the hard part about natural disasters you don't know even how to re-plan. Only God does.

They were saying on the news the last time Redoubt erupted (which was several decades ago) she blew 20 times in a 5-6 month period. She's erupted 12 times (I think that's where the count is) in a 6 day period. Maybe this means she's let off her steam and will settle down sooner. With each eruption I can help but think about how the Bible says that hell has enlarged herself and when I do, I get this gut wrenching feeling. So sad.

Any way that's my ranting and raving on it. Let me end with I am soooooo grateful that God has protected us. That we didn't leave for somewhere and get stranded. Though we don't understand the timing of her spewing, with convention having been scheduled; just like the Colorado regions timing of a blizzard with their district convention scheduled. God allowed us to have fair warning and gave us wisdom so that no one would be hurt. Thank you Lord.

Ash on the ground in Homer

It's getting closer to home. The volcano erupted twice ths morning. One went 20,000feet into the air, the other 65,000 feet. Ash has landed on Homer and a warning is out for the Kenai pennisula. All flights in and out of Alaska has been cancelled. So I'm so grateful that none of us got stuck in the air when it happened or at another airport. So far nothing here in Anchorage.

But please, please pray. I leave for England on April 8th. This has got to settle down so I can get out. The team is depending on me in their plans and I have a lot of money invested in the airline tickets. I'm not sure how all that would work as my tickets do not start or end in Anchorage as I would be flying part way on standby or positive space through Alaska Air. They're saying this could go on for months. God knows and it's in His hands, but I could use the prayers to help to trust Him ~ smile.

Update

After 8 eruptions Mt Redoubt has quieted down but is still considered unstable. Due to the volcano many flights were cancelled therefore bottle necking the airports as flights began operating therefore making it so Levi can't get up here. Then with the instability of the volcano it isn't recommended that people fly within interior of Alaska, so we had to make a very tough decision as to not go to Bethel for the youth convention. The convention therefore has been cancelled. If the Lord wills maybe it'll get rescheduled.

We were really looking forward to staying with Sister Connie, fellowshipping with the Bethel people and snow machining with Isaiah and Matthew. Yeah Matthew was going. But we know there will be other opportunities and we just PTL that we know we'll have another opportunity in the near future.

Meanwhile we'll continue to watch Redoubt and keeping praising the Lord for His protection.

More News about the Volcano

The volcano erupted for the 6th time at 8 pm cancelling all flights again. So far 1/8 - 1/4" of ash has landed in Telkeetna which is 113 miles North of Anchorage. The ash plume is 60,000 miles up and all flights are cancelled coming in and going out of Alaska. For a short time today flights going South were allowed out. But the airways are closed again. Reminds when we came back from the assembly and a volcano in the Aleution Islands erupted.

Our youth convention is this weekend in Bethel. Levi is the evangelist. It isn't looking like Levi is going to be able to get in and no one is going to be able to get over to Bethel unless God steps in.

It's hard to say if it will hit Anchorage, it just depends on the winds. Please continue the prayers.

Mt Redoubt update

Got up this morning and nothing new has happend. The ash is 60,000 miles in the air so pilots are refusing to fly so all morning flights are cancelled. The weather service is now saying it MAY miss Anchorage. Then it goes on to say this all could go on for several months of activity and threat. When Mt Spur erupted (I don't remember what year) it went on for 5 months. To follow the threat go to adn.com for updates.

It reminds me of the coming of the Lord. We don't know the day or the hour, we must not let our guard down but must be ready continuously. The difference with the rapture is He WILL come again. With the volcano, we were told it may or may not erupt and when started to quiet down they reduced the threat code. They brought it back to code orange early afternoon but did announce it broad enough that many weren't aware it had changed (especially on a Sunday). The Lord's return IS at code red and will stay there and the Church MUST shout it from the mountains, to the plains, to the valleys and across the world. We don't want anyone to be caught unprepared as there won't be time to do anything about when that last announcement made.

Please keep the prayers coming.

Mount ReDoubt Erupted

Please pray at 11:38 pm Mt Redoubt errupted. Earlier today they put the code back to code orange but now it's code red. The ashes are 50,000 feet in the air and headed toward Anchorage. They're expecting it to be here in about 8 hours. I'm not sure how thick it will be at that time but without a doubt we need your prayers. Brother Nowling is at the airport and is on the emergency committee so he will not be able to leave until all is cleared. Jessa is also there. They are passing out respirators to everyone.

I'll try to keep yo informed.

Where Did the weekend go

As Jenna posted Brother Nowling, Jenna and I have been enjoying her JAG dvd's. It's rare that there's a movie or tv show that Brother Nowling and I both like but we've found it. Friday and Saturday nights we stayed up until midnight, cuddling on the love seat, with Jenna on the couch across the room watching the shows. Friday night before we started watching JAG we all three worked together to do a quick cleaning of the house. Saturday morning we got up and put laundry in and then got Joleesa up and the two girls and us went to Qwennies for breakfast then went to get to get Joleesa's IM done on her car as well as her tags and registration. From there I met up with Jessa to do some wedding shopping. When we came out of our third stop her car wouldn't start, so while we were waiting for Brother Nowling to come we went in to a pizza place for me to get something to drink and Jessa to eat something. When Brother Nowling got there her car popped right off. She continued to have problems off and on until on her way to work this afternoon it stalled out at an intersection and we had to have it towed. Please pray it doesn't cost too much. We think it's the fuel pump. Anyway, as the day wore on I started feeling really nauseated. I'm feeling a lot better but my sinuses are continuing to drain, so I think that and the strong air freshener in Joleesa's car got the best of me. I was working on the computer when all of a sudden I was an overwhelming sense of exhaustion hit me. So I laid down on the couch and slept for about an hour. We had our youth activity so Brother Nowling and I got and we stopped at the gas station for me to get some seven up. We headed on over to be the youth. Then as I said we came home and had JAG fill.

I had been really praying for our Sunday services. We've been having great SS classes and services. I really wanted the Spirit to break loose and I was praying that I wouldn't allow anything or anyone hinder me from allowing Him to have His way. As I was leading the worship I felt His presence so strong and I worshipped, but though everyone was singing. I really felt quite alone in the worship, but I ptl it felt good. Brother Nowling preached on snares and traps and how we can allow ourselves (our words in particular) become a snare and actually be used of the devil instead of the Lord. It was strong, straight forward and very much needed.

Then tonight was Jenna's CPMA service and she based it on "see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil" but she turned it to "see no God, hear no God, and speak no God". It too was really good. Then we went to prayer and then to worship and it was the kind of worship that no one wanted to end. So the Lord was truly in our Sunday.

Oh and just a side note...I've been real active on facebook but I am so grateful I'm there. I've recently been found by some people in my past. Most recently two ladies (twin Korean girls) that I went to TC with and they were bridesmaids in my wedding and I was in one of there's. Over time we lost track of each other. Well Susan Song found me on facebook and I am so thrilled to reconnect with her. Her and Mary both are living in Anaheim CA and Alaska Airlines flies to Anaheim so Brother Nowling and I are hoping that some time we can go visit them. Mean while I am enjoying catching up on all the changes that 23 years (yes that's about how long it's been if not even longer)brings about.

So now we go into another week. My prayer is use me to bring encouragement in the discouraging atmosphere that hangs over my work these day.

Lay Offs

Well today the newspaper that I work at laid off another 47 people. Last September they laid off 30 some people and in July 40. The letter hit our emails just before 11 am of the cost reduction plan and letting us know that individuals to be laid off would be notified today. Some would be laid off, those departments needing to cut 2 or people would be offered a buy out for those would volunteer and if there weren't enough volunteers, then they would be laid off by tenure.

It didn't end there. Almost everyone else was given a mandatory wage reduction (including me). If you made $25k-$50k your pay reduction was 2.5%, $50k-$100k got 5%, over $100k a 10%. It didn't effect anyone hired after January 1st or anyone making less than $25k.

Still a possibility out there if revenue doesn't pick up, is mandatory 1 week furloughs. So far it's not implemented so I don't know how it would work.

To say the least it was a strange day, as one by one we were called in by ad director. Us in sales were pretty confident it didn't mean lay off, but it was matter at that time, what type of pay reduction we were in for. There were those in other departments that were laid off even if they had been employed for more than a decade.

I'm grateful I still have a job, but I do wonder if I made a mistake in not accepting Mr. Wong. I also, received a phone call from a former co-worker who is now the admissions director for Charter College here in Alaska to tell me about two different openings at the college, both of which sound very appealing. It's like, not a decision again. I'm going to look into it and I'll see where I'll go from there.

It's pretty grave thinking where the economy is at. I'm so glad my trust in God and He will never see the righteous forsaken. He's proven that over and over again.

If you think about, please pray for all those that lost their jobs.

I Love Him So Much

I am so happy my God is an ever present God. More and more, that fact has come to mean so much to me. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, He is there. You don't need to explain yourself to Him as He knows your heart (even the hidden parts that He some times needs to reveal to us). He understands my thoughts, and my emotions when even the closest person in my life doesnt. He knows my insecurities, my fears, my hurts my struggles, my strengths and my joys. He loves me as I am as He sees me as I can be.

No He doesn't physically wipe the tears away, but spiritually He understands each tear and He wraps His love around me. He settles His peace over me and gives me what I need at that moment to continue on.

I have been sick now for 21 days. It's been so frustrating as I try to keep going. My sarcoidocis makes it difficult to fight off this type of virus. We have our youth covention in two weeks, and the thought of flying with all the congestion in my head and chest is scary as it is sooooo painful to fly (last year I experienced tremendous pain flying back from convention as I was sick then too. I am sooooo tired of being sick. I've got so much I need to do...but God knows all this and I KNOW He will take care of me. I just need to trust HIM. I covet your prayers for His complete healing.

BUT I love my Lord and Saviour so very much. I truly believe the Word. I experience His Truth of "I will be with you alway" every moment of every day AND I can't imagine life without Him. I Love You Lord, and I know I can never OUT love You.

23 years ago

23 years ago on Thursday, March 13th, having taught Bible Study that night in Janesville, WI I sat down on the pew turning the service over to Pastor Nowling. I was feeling pretty exhausted. We had a couple of songs and I was really hurting, but I thought it was just from being on my feet but then I started timing the pains and when Pastor Nowling said "do we have any testimonies" I shook my head at my husband, Pastor Nowling, "I don't think so. It's time." He had picked some of the older ladies for church, so he had to get someone to take one of them home, while he took the other lady home. I went downstairs with one of the ladies to get my suitcase together. Then the sister took Jessa with her and I sat there waiting for my husband to come and get me (he didn't have far to go to take the member home, and the hospital was just a few blocks down the road). The surgical staff states that they really would rather be sleeping at 11 pm night...as if I had a lot of control over this, right. Then at 11:45 pm a cute blond headed, 6 lb 14 oz baby girl was born. God graced us with Jenna Rae another piece of joy added to our life.

That cute little girl, is now a beautiful, Godly 23 year old that we are very proud of. Jenna we love you and may this year be a year of many dreams coming true and drawing closer to God then you ever have been.

Love you and Happy Birthday from Dad & Mom

Feeling A Little Better Each Day

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I go from my sinuses hurting so bad, to my ear hurting to my throat hurting, to my chest hurting, to counghing so deep it rips me a part, to a cough so loose that I think I'm also done to today. This horrible smell, a nautious stomach AND this stupid loose cough. Sinuses are still draining but not the horrible pain that I have been having.

Friday night I went to bed at 9 or 10 pm and slept until 11 am on Saturday. I think that is an absolute first to sleep like that. I got up and did the church books and then did our taxes (yeah lots of fun when I really wanted to be watching the Iditarod on a day when the sky was blue and the sun was shining). Anyway, I have done our taxes with TaxCut proably for 15+ years. I did our taxes and almost freaked out as it had us owing almost $3000. I was crying trying to figure out what I could've done wrong and/or how were we going to pay. Finally I was so frustrated I was closed out of the program. Well whenever you close out, it asks if you want to receive updates through the internet (ie updates on tax laws that went into effect after the program was developed). In the past it never made a difference but this time, uh yeah, we went from owing almost $3000 to owing just a little over $400 and since Brother Nowling and I remembered we forgot to claim the medical expenses for his dental work, it may be even less. Amazing that things changed that much.

I then crawled back into bed about 4 pm feeling very chilled. We had our finance class Saturday night so I knew I couldn't sleep long, but it felt good. I was up at 6 pm and though we had small turn out it I think it was helpful for those who did come out.

Sunday morning, I was still pretty rough, but I taught Sunday School but had Jessa led song service (I still sung and had my coughing fits because there's no way I could stand there and not sing). We had a good service with our handful of people. I'm not the only one that's been sick. Jackie and I guess Heather have been sick as well.

Sunday night I did a youth service. God had placed a topic of "walls" on my heart for a week or so. The walls we build up that shouldn't be there and building, re-building, or fixing the walls that God wants us to have there. I used Jericho in bringing down the walls through obedience and Nehemiah in rebuilding the walls and starting at home in the building program. I'm not sure what anyone else got out of it, but it spoke heavily to me.

Then I had work this week where I had to cover my co-workers desk and all management would be gone, so I was dreading it...fortunately it's not been bad.

So that's my weekend and week so far.

Updates

I still feel rotten. I actually felt better Tuesday (not great but better). Yesterday afternoon I started feeling rough again and today I feel absolutely rotten. I can't miss work because we will be very short staff starting tomorrow. Speaking of work, I did not get the manager's position. A young man that's only been there 5 months got it. He has ran his own business and has a real estate license. I left in the Lord's hands so I'm ok. Can't honestly say I'm not disappointed but at least the two other people that applied didn't get it. I would've been troubled if either one of them got it. The one is arrogant and rude, the other one is a great guy but just too inexperienced and a immature. The Lord knows best. I'm still at peace about not taking the other job.

Thank you for your prayers for my dad situation. His roommate got moved across the hall. He now has a silent roommate. They are storing a lift in his room ~ hee hee. He loves telling people that. There's apparently a guy that moved in that is as mobile like my dad that dad is trying to convince to move in with him. The guy is wanting a private room. I guess the mediator had the nursing home chaplain do a survey of how many of the residents and staff liked my dad and got a long with him. The results were 95% and I guess that was the deciding factor for the mediator. I told him we'd been praying. He seems so much happier now.

The volcano is being quiet, although we're still at a level orange and Elemendorf air force moved their planes out of state. The thing is it can change rapidly.

Tonight the whole family went out for Italian for Jessa's birthday. It was the best family get together we've had in a long time. Everybody seem to enjoy themselves, including me even though I wasn't physically feeling the best.

This Saturday is our finance class for the youth put on by the Credit Union. It was postponed by the financial advisor last month because he was sick. I hope we have a good turn out. It's been a long time since we've had all our youth out to something. This will be so good for all of us. Pray for our local church. We desperately need revival. We need a minister to come, but some only want to come in the summer, some want to come but their work (or lack of work), or school or other responsibilities are complicating it. We can give standby passes to those that are in areas where Alaska Airlines fly, other wise it's real expensive to try to bring someone in. If any of you lurkers out there that are ministers hear a still small voice calling to hold revival, please listen and be obedient and give Brother Nowling a call (you'll find his phone # in the assembly minutes). I'm really serious.

We've been planning Jessa's wedding. It looks like some of the things are starting to come together for her. We wish we had more church homes for the people to be able to stay in as hotels are quite expensive here. But we know God will work it all out. Some will be coming for camp prior which is awesome. I'm really praying Brother Harvey Anders will come. I have the perfect class that I want him to teach/preach. I'm also hoping Amy Anders will come (though I don't know her personally, I've heard a lot good about her) and I would love for her to be our worship leader. Amy if you're reading this, please pray about it and talk to your dad as well ~ smile. Have I told everybody Sister Sharon Griffen (Tim and Victoria too) will be our evangelist. Brother Tim and her will be teaching classes on relationships. How God intended for a man to treat a woman and vise versa. This is something her and I have spoken about on several occasions so I'm really excited.

A month from Saturday I leave for England. I'm sooooo excited.

Let's see what else. Oh, the Iditarod is this weekend. I was really hoping to go as it is so cool to watch. But if I'm feeling as rotten as I am now, I won't be going.

I've been trying to change my blog for several days now to a new "cute as a block" background and it looks like everything is changed under the editing but when I go to view, nothings changed. Ugh.

Well, I think that's about all for now. I hope I can sleep tonight. Sister Smith I'm really coughing a lot so I'm going to try the vicks on the feet with socks. I'll let you know how it goes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSA

At 1:10 pm I gave birthday to my first child,a 5 lb 4 oz (4 lbs 13 oz by the time I brought her home) beautiful baby girl. Now she is a beautifuly young woman of God that I am very proud of. Jessa we have shared many joys and tears together and they'll be many more ahead, but I'm so thankful that you know and trust the One True God, and as long you continue to do so, LIFE WILL BE GOOD! Happy Birthday honey, hope you get to feeling better.

25 Random things

Jessa tagged me some time ago but I haven't done it...so here we go:

1. I'm tired of being sick.
2. This nasty bug thinks he's taken up residence in our house.
3. I am sooooooo ready for summer (Alaska doesn't see Spring~they experience break up).
4. I love Alaska.
5. I've lived in 6 states.
6. I'm going to England in April ~ yippee.
7. I'm next to the youngest of 7.
8. I would like to be Christian Youth Counselor some day. Yeah right!
9. I love Italian food.
10. I'm looking forward to being a grandma some day.
11. I am really looking forward to camp this year. The Griffins are coming and they're going to be teaching classes on "relationships".
12. I love to plan things.
13. I wish I would've been more physically active when I was a youth.
14. My husband loves candles.
15. My favorite color is peach.
16. I love playing games.
17. I love teaching.
18. I can't imagine life without my Lord.
19. I feel like I missed out on something special by not having a son (girls I love you very much, but I have enough love for son). I'm greatful that God has put young men in my life that have treated me good. All the more reason I look forward to son-in-laws.
20. I am so glad my girls moved to Alaska with us and don't mind being around us (most the time).
21. I love The Church of God.
22. I brought work home but I don't feel like doing it.
23. My favorite time of the year is autumn (but it's too short and my husband ruins it for me by reminding constantly it means winter and cold is right behind it).
24. I am looking forward to the "inflow".
25. This is harder than I thought.

The Decision

I didn't take the job with Mr. Wong. It was a very difficult decision and I kept crying out to God to make it clear. As rotten as I felt Saturday, I went down to the Alaska Craft show at the Fur Rondy celebration. This was a very big event for Mr Wong's business. His staff were so friendly and treated me great, initially confusing me. Then as I stood outside waiting for Jody to come pick me up (I had him drop me off so we wouldn't have to find parking and he went and visited Sister Texter). I prayed and prayed for direction. Jody came and we went to the Alaska Experience Theatre Earthquake movie and the Alaska movie. While we were waiting we visited with more of the staff and I learned even more and it really helped me. And it was really good for Jody to hear it too. I then asked him to pleeeease tell me what he thought. He said he felt like I needed to stay where I'm at. There are a lot of problems within the business and current management put in mega hours. I don't want to be married to my job. Mr Wong didn't even wait for me to call him, he called me on Sunday. (Another fear that my weekends wouldn't be mine). He was very understanding and ended the call with God bless you and maybe the next time you'll take me up on my offer...ugh. He sure doesn't give up. Any way, so I let people know that I wasn't leaving and everyone was thrilled and my bosses comment was that I won't regret it.

As far as how I'm feeling. Though I've not fuly recovered I definitely felt better today, but by late afternoon I was losing my voice and I was really dragging. But I made it through. Jessa is sick again (I don't think she ever got better) and now Jody, Joleesa and Jenna are fighting it. I want to evict this bug from our home. I feel like our house is so germ infested. Ugh!

Oh we are now getting 10 1/2 hours of daylight. Until you've experienced only about 5 hours of light, where you will go 5 days a week and never see daylight you'll know how much to appreciate it. It is so great to see the sun...oh how that sounds spiritually too.