Battle of the Tears

Ugh! This weekend has been the battle of the tears. Friday night I left work and almost walked out without signing off on my Sat, Sun and Monday ads. Although I had clocked out something told me I needed to do it. Thank you Lord, I had missed scheduling a $6,000+ ad for AT&T for Sunday. It would've been no body's fault but mine. That would've been not only a loss of $6000 of revenue but according to their contract if WE make a mistake we have to run the ad at n/c. Anyway, God was looking out for me and the sweet lady in the lay out department worked feverishly with our editorial department to get it in. I was fighting the tears the whole. Tears of frustration at me for making the mistake in the first place. Tears of thankfulness that God helped me to catch it. And tears of thankfulness to Robin and Michael for the extra work I put them through because of my mistake and yet they were so nice about it.

Then on Saturday, I sat at the breakfast table with my husband and just wanted to cry. No reason, just wanted to cry. He was so sweet as we separated for him to go home and sleep and me to go and get my hair done as he told me to smile, gave me a kiss and told me to have fun. That really made want to cry. Then I sat in the hairdressers chair and my hairdresser wasn't talking so I was left my own thoughts, and the sounds of the young lady next to me who recently turned 30, was a Florida but was here in Alaska because her husband asked to be stationed here and didn't ask her about it. She was having her hair colored. She was blond but wanted a sun bleached blond look as she had been use to her hair being bleached by the sun. Her hairdresser tried to convince not to go so light, but she was determined. When it was all done, I understood why. Her hair was a white blond, she said it would taking getting use to but she liked it. In between her conversations I sat there fighting the tears. Tears for NO reason. It's been a long time since I've had one of "these" emotional battles.

Saturday night I then battled more tears as several of our youth couldn't make it out to our youth activity due to jobs (please pray, I know they need their jobs, but more and more of them are having to miss church activities due to their jobs. I KNOW God can work it out. I've seen Him do it before). I had to change some of my plans. But I think they enjoyed decorating pumpkins, gourds and fall leaves (which I will use for tonight's youth service), and then carved two pumpkins to say "Victory Leaders". Then tears came again, but this time through laughter as I was sitting in the rocking chair Jenna suggested Joleesa climb in my lap and be my baby again...well Joleesa didn't but Jackie did and then we reversed it. I won't go into the details but I laughed so hard I was crying. It was great. I will post the picture of Jackie in my lap once Jenna sends it to me...but you'll never see the one of me in Jackie's lap! Anyway, the decorated autumn ornaments turned out great. Tim Osborne really surprised us in his creativity.

This morning during worship I had us focus on "the blood" and once again the tears were there...but this time I didn't battle them. I let them flow as I rejoiced in the power, strength and comfort I receive because of the blood my Lord shed for me. Brother Nowling then preached on challenging us to reach a level with the Lord as we haven't experience before . Finding a joy within the Church that only comes from a close relationship with the groom. All that after a great Sunday School lesson that was pretty straight forward to the youth on Rebekah and Isaac; reminding us that we must have God present in ALL relationships. It was a great morning.

This evening is youth service. For some time the Lord has placed on my heart "He Prepareth a table before us, in the presence of our enemies...." so that is our theme for our youth service. Please pray that Lord has His way. Once again there has been several ways my mind has gone with this. I'm anxious to see how God takes it.