Friday, October 24, 2008

Reflections of the Heart

It's been a week of tug-a-war with the enemy. Stress has been trying to be my best friend. I thought when you're almost 50 acne doesn't know you any more, but when stress is your friend, so is acne. Couple all that with fighting a cold (scratchy throat, chest and sinuses hurting). Ugh! I am working in the most volatile atmosphere that I think I have ever been in. The last batch of lay offs last day was this week. They are putting all these new procedures into place without consulting the very ones that do the work to know if they will work. I cost the company over $12,000 by accidentally not scheduling two major ads. The graphics department who are stretched so thin...dropped a wrong ad so I had to issue a big credit. There has been so many tears shed by various ones that are just having "melt downs" trying to get everything done. No position is safe.

I did have a good short visit with one of the gals who is a Christian. We both were saying how we couldn't handle things if it wasn't for God. As stressed as we are, we were both saying how our hearts ache for those that were laid off and those in graphics that are putting in long hours and not able to get everything done. I made the statement (which I've been saying a lot lately, and have declared many times throughout my life), I am so glad that God never changes. When everything is shifting around you, I am so thankful for my ROCK, Jesus Christ, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I've also noticed that God has really been testing me regarding the lesson I taught on Sunday regarding allowing Him to be I AM in every part of my life. Allowing HIM to examine us and show us where He isn't the "I AM". I have truly felt a tug-a-war as I know I have to give over to Him things but finding it so very difficult. I remind myself that I'd rather have these things revealed to me now, then to possibly miss out on the "well done, thou good and faithful servant".

The song "Shut in with God" has been being sung in my heart a lot this week as that will truly be where I'll get the power to make it each day. Today, I was really thinking how homesick I am for heaven. This world, thankfully, is NOT my home and I am soooo longing for those streets of gold. To see my mom, grandpa and the grandma I never knew. Though my mom's and my relationship here on earth was far from perfect, I know she loved me and was always praying for me. When I see her in heaven, our relationship will be perfect.

Tomorrow I have no big plans. I hope to get some rest as to get rid of this cold once and for all. I also, hope to go with Jenna car shopping. Beyond that sleep and cleaning house is in my plans.

4 comments:

Vicki Smith said...

Oooooh, I like your twinkly background. It's sweet.

I'm so sorry for the stress laden work environment. As you said, it's such a blessing that you have God in your heart and He can comfort you through the tough times. The darker things get, the more little lights begin to be noticeable. Let the Light within you shine! -- I'll be praying for you.

J Nowling said...

I have to keep reminding myself to let my light shine in this time of distress. Usually it's as natural as breathing, but not these days...I have to remind myself constantly as the different come to talk to me distressed and all.I want to bring glory to Him and point people to Him. I really do need your prayers. Thanks.

Amy Anders said...

Hey Sis. Nowling
This is Amy Anders, I found your blog through Jessa's I just wanted to tell you how much that we have enjoyed Jessa being here with us in Virginia!!! She's been such a blessing to us all! We told her that the next time that she comes down though, she'll have to bring the whole family so that we can meet you all!!

J Nowling said...

Hey Amy-I really appreciate your having Jessa. We know how precious she is. Maybe some day we will all be able to come and visit, then again maybe some day you'll come to Alaska. You never know. Especially with Jessa and Levi BOTH up here ~ smile. Thanks again for making her feel so welcome. I'm sure she's enjoyed herself.